life times & love

there's something about telling someone that you have to say bye to each other.
not, see ya later. or talk to you later.

it's a legitimate bye. and good byes hurt. even when they are necessary. because for the amount of time you don't speak to each other, you're not in their lives. just on their mind.
you don't know what they did on Tuesday, what they're going to do on Saturday. What cool new music they found. nothing. even after being with them for years.

i like change. because it is in fact necessary. but the day of the initial change. is weird. it's scary. and it makes me want to cry because of the string that you cut.

i took these like a year ago. i just developed them this week. these are my three favorites out of the 12
(there was also another roll, but i guess it was my very first and the light raped the crap out of the film and only got three shots out of it.)

again, i'm going to say i love this movie :)

乾杯

401. Some say that high school is the best time of your life. Was that true for you?
i mean i did have a blast. but college is racking up some pretty great memories also.

402. What do you find yourself encouraging others to try?
just to be themselves really. and have fun with everything they do.

403. Which is better: Mel Brooks or Woody Allen?
bwah! why must i choose. Mel Brooks, Blazing Saddles, c'mon..

404. When was the last time you were up all night?
it's been a while, since i didn't feel the need to do it during finals

405. __ is life. The rest is just details. Fill in the blank.
Going to a million different thrift stores to find the perfect grandfather chair is life.

406. Are people too complex and different to be categorized?
yeah they are. i don't see the point in trying to categorize everything all the time.

407. Is it good to have pride in your own race or does that separate people from each other because it makes them think of everyone else as 'outsiders'?
Oh, it's bad. It definitely separates you from other races when you believe that yours is better. Same thing with individuals really.

408. What fictional story would you like to live through?
Where the Wild Things Are

409. Are cats or dogs smarter?
Dogs

410. Have you ever guessed someone's password and broken into their diary?
haha, password journal. But no i haven't.

411. What teacher, if any, has effected you the most in your life?
ah man. all my writing teachers from high school. Mr. Moon, Miss. Flaisig, Ms. Jones and Dr. Napier

412. Are you more easily bored or excited?
easily excited. say one thing that sounds awesome to me and i'm like oooo!!! like i just won the lottery or something.

413. What's the bravest or most daring thing you have ever done?
i always say this is the bravest thing, leaving home.

414. "What's the point of robbery when nothing is worth taking?" (- Adam Ant)
because people are still phased by material things.

415. If your man or woman served you breakfast in bed as a treat what would you want?
eggs in a basket. turkey bacon. a nice cold glass of milk with a couple ice cubes in it.

416. What do you do only when you are upset?
hmm... i just lay down and cry. and call up someone in a fit and blabber about how shitty i'm feeling.

417. What's the oddest CD in your collection?
ah man. i think i have a few. maybe sigur ros. since they're Icelandic musicians.

418. What's the best diary name you ever saw?
Diary name? People name their diaries?

419. What would your friends be surprised to learn about you?
I dunno. I think my friends know what I've done.

420. Who owes you an apology?
My dad.

421. Who deserves an apology from you?
Chelsea.

422. How would you like to treat your kids differently from the way your parents treated you?
My mom didn't treat me bad. I would want to be there for them, like she's been there for me.

423. Which do you like best: 60's, 70's or 80's fashion?
70's!!

424. What is the worst pick up line ever used on you?
No pick up lines have been used on me.

425. Of the following, which word best describes you: inventive, kinetic (energetic), light-hearted, mature
light-hearted, I believe.

426. Do you own a record player?
I wish I had one.
Do you use it?
I don't have one :(

427. How easily do you make friends?
Pretty easily. It's easier, when I meet them among friends already, because I don't have my wall up and I'm already comfortable among the folks.

428. What is the difference between having character and being a character?
Being a character means to me that the person is outlandish, loud, and just crazy (in a good way sometimes). Having character means that you are a distinguished person.

429. Are there any animals you flat out refuse to touch?
Worms. If people consider them an animal.

430. Do you care about your weight?
I used to. But now I could care less really. I'm loosing weight for myself, and no one else. And that's what's important.

431. Did you/will you go to the prom?
Nope. I sorta wish I did. But I'm okay with it.

432. Have you ever wanted to date twins?
No.

433. What one thing would you change about high school if you could?
Absolutely nothing. Oh wait.. a stable science teacher. That would've been nice to have.

434. If you came with a warning label, what would it say?
"May write down whatever you do or say"

435. Are you artistic and creative?
Very much so

436. What were you (probably) doing on this date last year?
Getting ready to turn 19.

437. What are you obsessed with?
Star Wars & Ralph Waldo Emerson

438. What was the last compliment you received?
You have beautiful teeth. Don't be afraid to smile.

439. Do you have any brothers or sisters?
nope. only child.

440. Who would you like to be alone with right now?
Hmm. A certain guy.

441. Do you push people away when you really want them to come closer?
Sometimes. I've done it before, don't want to do it again. Wait, I think I might be doing that right now.

442. Is a prenuptial agreement necessary or does it take the romance and trust out of marriage?
I don't know it depends on the two people really. If they both have a large amount of assets then it makes sense.

443. Do you lie your way out of things?
Nope

444. Are you better at talking or listening?
Listening. I'm a listener, people come to me to rant and to have somebody that's gonna be quiet without any harsh opinions when they need someone on their side.

445. What will only happen to you once in this lifetime?
Falling head over heels in love. I think. You fall in love a couple of times, but the head over heels part, doesn't happen more than once I think.

446. Know of any conspiracy theories you think might be credible?
nah

447. What are the most beautiful words that have ever been spoken to you?
you're beautiful

448. If it were legal would you own a human slave (race unimportant)?
buuuhh!! no

449. Have you ever read your own writing at a poetry reading?
:) yup. and it's the greatest thing to do

450. What is one simple thing that gives you the happy shivers?
the happy shivers, i'm gonna use that. when someone looks at me and just smiles.

451. What do you do for exercise?
haha, i'm part of the 21st century. so i use the wii. it actually works.

452. Would you rather have a strict teacher with a sense of humor or a lenient teacher that doesn't teach?
strict teacher with a sense of humor. they're the best.

453. If you ever have a baby what might you want to name it?
Lincoln or Emerson

454. If you won free tickets to a concert from a radio show and had to choose between Inxs, Poison, Blondie and Moby, which would you choose?
freakin' Moby!! that'd be great!!

455. Are you a good cook?
I reckon so.

456. Do you prefer when things come with no assembly required, even if they are a bit more expensive?
eh, I like putting things together myself sometimes.

457. Start a sentence with the words: what if
What if we lived life without any boundaries?

458. Are you more spontaneous and unpredictable or loyal and routine?
a mix of both sometimes.

459. What is the highest number you can count to in your head?
What do you mean in your head?? Is there a difference counting aloud?

460. How do you go about losing weight?
Exercise and eating healthy

461. Do you have street smarts?
not really.

462. Do you have a lot of common sense?
yup

463. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?
bah. they don't make it anymore. I love the name of it. Coney Island Waffle Cone

464. What's your favorite movie that involves dancing?
West Side Story

465. Would you ever want to become a guest on a talk show? If yes what would the show's theme be?
I guess so. I think I would want to go on NPR, they have a lot of great shows on writers.

466. Do you like the way you look naked?
now I do

467. Have you ever dissected an animal?
a little fetal pig

468. Who do you know who is brilliant?
There are a lot of brilliant people i know

469. Who do you know who is dull?
Buh, dull?

470. Do you ever think about time travel?
Yeah and how awesome it'd be.

471. What is one interesting fact you know?
of course I can't think of anything right now.

472. Do you talk to yourself?
yup

Do you talk to your pets?
i did

473. Do you believe that humankind has a future in space (will we live there some day)?
eh, not really. it's cool to think about but I don't think that there's a future out there.

474. Would you rather wear clothes that you don’t mind getting dirty or more delicate outfits?
clothes i don't mind getting dirty

475. How do you 'live life to the fullest'?
by doing whatever i want that is going to make me happy

476. Are you sloppy or a neat freak?
a bit of both. i'm sloeat.

477. Would you rather have a trunk full of nickels or half a trunk full of dimes?
trunk full of dimes.

478. What is the worst mistake you've ever made?
whenever i lost the trust of my mom for a period of time.

479. Are you in good health?
i think so

480. Are you patriotic?
haha no

Let's play fact or crap.
Yay!! Let's!

Is it a fact? Or is it crap?


481. The greenhouse effect is bad for your health.
Crap

482. There are about as many molecules of air in one breath as there are hairs on your head.
eh....fact

483. The Miss America pageant started out as a contest in which people decorated wheel chairs and one chair was judged the prettiest.
hahaha, that sounds believable. but i don't know.

484. To remove a tattoo a physician can place a small balloon under the skin, which is inflated so that the tattooed skin gradually stretches. Then they cut the stretched skin away.
buuuhhh. gross. crap

485. Cock fighting is a sexual sport.
haha, crap

486. It is the warmest time of the day during the hour that the sun is the highest in the sky.
fact

487. Certain scientists specialize in studying cow farts.
fact

488. The brilliant colors (reds, oranges, yellows) across the sky that we get from sunsets are caused mainly by pollution.
hmmm..i dunno about this one

489. In Grimm's original fairy tale, Rapunzel is pregnant.
believable

490. Dracula was the first movie about a vampire.
fact

491. The inventors of Corn Flakes, the Kellogg brothers, ran a school for delinquent youth.
haha, oh american history.

492. "Kemo Sabe" means "soggy shrub" in Navajo.
crap

493. Sir Thomas Crapper invented the toilet.
hahaha. fact?

494. The Earl of Sandwich invented the Sandwich.
crap

495. Some Chinese alchemists were trying to invent an immortality medicine and accidentally invented gunpowder instead.
fact. the Chinese did some crazy stuff.

496. The human body is made of about 99% water.
crap

497. Bubble gum contains rubber.
fact

498 This survey to the zero power = 0.
don't flash math to me.

499. Most lipstick contains fish scales.
ehh.. fact?

500. There are 86401 seconds in day.
 crap! 86401 seconds = 1.00001157 day
(i cheated and used Google. don't kill me)

this is the kinda stuff i just love.

乾杯

Humphrey Bogard and Lauren Bacall

(i love this picture so much. i love her smirk & his eyes. oooo, Bogard's eyes.)

If you wanna change something about me, this better be it. And maybe I’ll let you. Just maybe…

I haven't been here in what seems like decades. I'm a procrastinating college kid, what can I say. No I haven't turned to the dark side and gone to Tumblr..yet. But I just wanted to post here, while I thought about it.
School's almost over, and thus summer begins!! Woo. And an internship. So I'll be posting stuff about that hopefully, and pictures. I wanna post some pictures of what I see in the city over the summer, I know it's more alive then. Like it isn't all ready. But yeah, and I also want to finish that damned survey the next 2 months.
Geez, I have a lot on my plate. Internship. Publish book. Survey *for fun* and to travel about New England. Hopefully take a trip up to Canada. HOPEFULLY. Gotta get that passport.


So yup. Just wanted to share briefly before I go back to working on finals.
And of course here's a song I've been obsessing over:




乾杯

Yesterday I had a great time in the city. I should hang out more on Saturdays. In the morning I had to go to a Thai Buddhist temple in Queens. And it was a diamond in the rough, to say simply. It was quiet & peaceful, and well I took a few pictures.

This whole bullying thing is going too far. My mom called me today to tell me that her coworker's daughter tried to commit suicide recently, and she's only 13. She's been bullied to the extent to take her life, it hits home when there's a shorter rope connected to you. I wanted to cry because nobody should want to take their own life, especially that young. She's still so new, so fragile.
There was a period where bullying was just quiet, it was just a group of jerk kids picking on a girl because of her pigtails, or the show she watches is for babies. But now it seems like kids are out for something. Out for blood. There are so many ways to bully now, Facebook, MySpace, texting, and the classic group vs one. I don't understand what their gain is when they see the victim, eyes lowered to the ground, feeling like shit because they're different.
Being different was never easy, it still isn't. There's so many ways to be different now too, gay parents, they are gay, they're black or Asian. Like the array needs to be accepted, it needs to be taught that there is no sameness.
Another thing that bothers me is that the kids take it into their own hands and feel like they can't talk to their parents. Why? The parents are always so surprised when they hear about it, they're active in the school, their kid is happy when seen at home, yet when things get this far it's a surprise. I'm not blaming the parents, because I don't know how things are behind closed doors.
I don't know what to do, because raising awareness doesn't seem to do anything. What can we do?

"Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilightseries.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes." 

From The Monica Bird

i haven't posted anything in a looong while. so just for now, to start things back up, i'll post my new favorite song for the time being.

the greatest thing ever. i want to have a conversation with this person!!