8/26/10

realization.

I haven't written anything here for a long time, pretty much the whole month of July. I've been pretty much thinking i was doing something with my summer by making a habit of waking up at noon, turning on the tv and quickly falling asleep only to wake up 10 minutes later, feeling like it was another hour. i'd kick the sheets off and rub my eyes, take a pee, brush my teeth and walk barefoot into the kitchen even though my mom told me not to. open the fridge. nothing and close it. then open it again to think again that there is nothing in there to eat, even though there were ingredients to concoct something tasty with a pan and some enthusiasm. but instead i stole a piece of candy or ate a handful of cheese, got a cup of water, or tea or juice and walked back into my room.
waited for a call from somebody to do something that day and when it never came, i would just walk around trying to find something to occupy myself. i had planned for the summer to write something extraordinary, to fix up a story, to read a few novels. something other than walking around barefoot in a hot house all summer. and waiting for something interesting to do.
but there's no one else really to blame. i didn't plan it well. it was all said, but not done. and i can sit around, sit here really and write this little letter to my non existent readers and complain. but i'm not.
cause this summer i did learn something. i met some pretty cool folks, had some good conversations, wrote a little, laughed alot, loved, and cried, got angry, smiled, colored, screamed, listened to good music, drove in the dark, cuddled a baby, got in a fight, ate with good company, sat on the beach in a full moon, dyed my hair, made pancakes for people i care about, kept in contact with someone, partied, and talked over dramatically, watched good movies, and tried to learn a new language, while trying to read three novels at once.
and i think that's good. it's was a good summer. when i look back on it, i see that i changed a little, for the better. and that it's been a good year so far. and that life is beautiful.

0 comments:

Post a Comment

About Me

My Photo
a.b lee
i'm an explorer who hasn't left home yet.
View my complete profile