9/12/10
doody-do.
And the question is, was I more alive
Then than I am now?
I happily have to disagree
I laugh more often now, I cry more often now
I am more me
that's from Peter Bjorn & John's song: "Objects of my Affection" and it's about this guy that moves to a town, he fell in love previously and it's out of his hands now. the relationship fell apart. and now his friend is telling him to love again, or just to go out in life again. and i just love this part of the song. it's pretty great.
9/9/10
RIP Carly Driscoll
this is memory of Carly Driscoll.
she was a great person, strong & loving. she'll be missed.
9/2/10
life is swell.
it is, even when it punches you in the chest and walks away laughing. it doesn't turn around to see if you get back up, because it's all up to you. if one thing gets you face down on the pavement, and you think your bone is broken, don't wait for a bystander to call the police. take out your damn cell & call them yourself. cause i don't know you should, use up your damn minutes, cause you have a hell of a lot of rollovers. but as life is swell, so is love. cause it reminds you that you can feel, that you can hurt, and cry, and get back up and still love.
i think i'll learn that soon.
#172
i love this movie so much. and it's true about poetry, it's so great. some people just make a joke out if it but it really is a beautiful form of writing. i just got a e.e. cummings poetry collection in the mail yesterday and i sat in my grandfather chair with my feet propped up and whispered the poems. ah, it was great.
8/28/10
so long.
I'm sitting in an airport right now, trying not to cry.
trying, failed. i got a few tears that came out. even though i really asked them not to, but they insisted. my voice got shaky and i'm sure my uncle caught that i was in the midst of trying to fight back some emotion. cause i didn't get a chance to say bye to him, or my cousin.
but i think it's time for me to go again. because i was getting comfortable again and back into the natural mix of things. going out, and just lazing at a friends house, and then coming back home late around 2 in the morning with nothing accomplished. things could've been better, but it is what it is.
right? so. i bid adieu to jacksonville and to summer.
8/27/10
quote #3
The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reasons for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. -- Albert Einstein
quote #2
Sure there is music even in the beauty, and the silent note which Cupid strikes, far sweeter than the sound of an instrument. For there is music wherever there is harmony, order and proportion; and thus far we may maintain the music of the spheres; for those well ordered motions, and regular paces, though they give no sound unto the ear, yet to the understanding they strike a note most full of harmony. -- Sir Thomas Browne
quote #1
The true poet and the true scientist are not estranged. They go forth into nature like two friends. Behold them strolling through the summer fields and woods. The younger of the two is much the more active and inquiring; he is ever and anon stepping aside to examine some object more minutely, plucking a flower, treasuring a shell, pursuing a bird, watching a butterfly; now he turns over a stone, peers into the marshes, chips off a fragment of rock, and everywhere seems intent on some special and particular knowledge of the things about him. The elder man has more an air of leisurely contemplation and enjoyment, is less curious about special objects and features, and more desirous of putting himself in harmony with the spirit of the whole. But when his younger companion has any fresh and characteristic bit of information to impart to him, how attentively he listens, how sure and discriminating is his appreciation! The interests of the two in the universe are widely different,yet in no true sense are they hostile or mutually destructive.-- John Burroughs
8/26/10
realization.
I haven't written anything here for a long time, pretty much the whole month of July. I've been pretty much thinking i was doing something with my summer by making a habit of waking up at noon, turning on the tv and quickly falling asleep only to wake up 10 minutes later, feeling like it was another hour. i'd kick the sheets off and rub my eyes, take a pee, brush my teeth and walk barefoot into the kitchen even though my mom told me not to. open the fridge. nothing and close it. then open it again to think again that there is nothing in there to eat, even though there were ingredients to concoct something tasty with a pan and some enthusiasm. but instead i stole a piece of candy or ate a handful of cheese, got a cup of water, or tea or juice and walked back into my room.
waited for a call from somebody to do something that day and when it never came, i would just walk around trying to find something to occupy myself. i had planned for the summer to write something extraordinary, to fix up a story, to read a few novels. something other than walking around barefoot in a hot house all summer. and waiting for something interesting to do.
but there's no one else really to blame. i didn't plan it well. it was all said, but not done. and i can sit around, sit here really and write this little letter to my non existent readers and complain. but i'm not.
cause this summer i did learn something. i met some pretty cool folks, had some good conversations, wrote a little, laughed alot, loved, and cried, got angry, smiled, colored, screamed, listened to good music, drove in the dark, cuddled a baby, got in a fight, ate with good company, sat on the beach in a full moon, dyed my hair, made pancakes for people i care about, kept in contact with someone, partied, and talked over dramatically, watched good movies, and tried to learn a new language, while trying to read three novels at once.
and i think that's good. it's was a good summer. when i look back on it, i see that i changed a little, for the better. and that it's been a good year so far. and that life is beautiful.
8/12/10
funeral songs.
this may sound a bit strange, just a little. but i have songs that i want played at my funeral. well i don't even really want a funeral. i just want friends getting together, just celebrating life. and i want these songs to be played at this shindig. even though the list isn't really completed yet.
- "Oh! Sweet Nuthin'" The Velvet Underground
- "Whiter Shade of Pale" Procol Harum
- "Little Wing" Jimi Hendrix
- "Three Little Birds" Bob Marley
- "Yesterday/Black Bird" The Beatles
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